Cestus Sol: Diplomacy
by MadPanda
Summary: Amazon pride and tradition meet Lunar territoriality. Siobhan Nightfang handles one of her husband's outstanding marital issues with all the gentleness one might expect from one of Luna's Chosen...


Disclaimer: Ranma is not mine. Exalted is not mine. Siobhan, now, she's mine. Members of the Shampoo Fan Club might want to skip this one, since the Purple-Haired One is going to be having a very Ryoga sort of day....

Diplomacy

A Cestus Sol side story by the MadPanda

Siobhan relaxed contentedly against the tree, enveloping her husband in a casual spooning embrace. He was embarrassed to be held in her lap. The guy, he had grumbled the first time she tried this, was supposed to be the taller and stronger partner...and she had laughed heartily and hugged him tighter. She had then emptied a glass of water on his head to trigger that delightful transformation and pointed out that if he was a she, there was no problem. He had complained loudly before consenting to her attentions—she found his embarrassed protestations endearing, which only made him squirm harder. And in the end here they were, perched in a tree in front of Furinkan High, enjoying his lunch period together. Pressing her face into her husband's hair, the Lunar inhaled his scent deeply and gave a pleased sigh.

"I like you this way, you know...smaller than me, I mean. This is fun."

Ranma shifted uneasily. "Oh."

"And I already told you that I don't mind your girl side. Relax and enjoy, my love."

"Uhm, people are staring at us..."

"Let them look. We are honorably mated."

"Yeah, but..."

"Perverts!"

"...it's Akane and her little support group."

Siobhan sighed and let her head fall back against the tree. "This again? How unpleasant! She did not want you when she had you, does not want you back, and yet will not leave you be. Does she not accept that you are not her prized possession?"

"Eh, heh heh...no?" Ranma tilted his head just far enough to plant a light kiss on the Lunar's elbow. "Look, I gotta get back to class for the afternoon. Thanks for bringing me lunch."

"Of course." Reluctantly, Siobhan opened her arms to let Ranma go. "I will await you back at our new manse when matters are settled."

"Okay! I'll be there as soon as I can." He paused and looked at her with one raised eyebrow. "You have business to which you will attend?"

"Aye. That Amazon girl will no doubt seek to ambush me when I return to our manse. She tried to stop me from coming to you in the first place, and I saw her tracking me while I brought you your meal. I am...what is the word? An obstacle. And obstacles are for killing."

"I see." He frowned. "Promise me that you will not kill her, will not strike the first blow, and will respond with reasonable force. Her laws bind her beyond reason."

"It means so much to you?"

"Yeah, it does. She's not a bad person, just...foolish and arrogant. Like me."

Giving her husband a quiet smile, Siobhan placed one hand over her heart. "On my honor, she will not die by my hand. Nor will I strike first, nor even with my full strength."

"That'll do." He kissed her again. "I must go."

"Off with you, then!"

She smiled and ruffled his hair, then watched him make an acrobatic leap down to ground level and race into the building past the gauntlet of angry teenaged girls.

"Don't think we're finished with you, _gaijin_ whore!"

Siobhan growled and looked down to see that Akane girl yelling up at her, making insulting gestures, and being cheered on by her companions.

"Just out of curiosity, little one, how long do you believe you'd last if I deigned to accept your challenge?"

"I'm woman enough to take you!"

"You think so?"

The Lunar slid off the branch and landed directly in front of the wrathful Tendo girl, pulling up to her full height. Blanching, Akane backed off a few steps and assumed a strongly offensive ready stance. Siobhan gave the girl a feral grin and enjoyed the sudden flinch on the girl's face when she allowed her tattoos to flicker with the silvery light of Exalted essence.

"You could not take one of your own kind, ere he used his full strength against you. What chance does that give you against me, one of Luna's Chosen?"

The school bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

"We will finish this talk later, child. Go to class."

With one vicious, bitter scowl, Akane spun away and raced into the building followed by her new fan club. The Lunar warrior laughed at the sight and then took her leave by hopping over the schoolyard wall. Sooner or later, her 'unfinished business' would seek a confrontation. She needed but wait, and the perfect opportunity to end this irritation would fall into her waiting arms.

She did not have to wait for long.

Amazons are not known for either tactical subtlety or diplomacy when their glorious three thousand year legacy is on the line. In spite of their talk of honor, they seem quite willing to dispense with the concept when dealing with 'outsiders'. As a case in point, no Amazon would feel shame at ambushing an unarmed, unarmored opponent from behind....outsiders do not deserve such consideration. Thus, as befit her view of the matter, Shampoo leapt at the horrid outsider who had dared claim her husband, sword poised for a killing strike. At the apex of her jump, the young Amazon grinned with sadistic anticipation. Maybe she might just cripple the _gwailo_ at first, enjoy hearing her screams for mercy...

The 'obstacle' had other ideas. At the last possible second, the tall woman nimbly sidestepped Shampoo's attack and dropped into a deceptively casual ready stance. She did not draw her axe from its sheath on her back, which Shampoo decided meant that her earlier beating at the hands of this foreign devil woman must have been a fluke. No true warrior ever let a weapon lie unused in battle!

The _gwailo_ tossed her head imperiously at Shampoo "We did this already, little one. Go home before you get hurt."

"No more talk!" Shampoo attacked again, only to find her prey sliding out of the way. Another swing and miss, then another and yet another followed in rapid succession.

"Coward! Fight like real woman," Shampoo spat in frustration after several minutes. In spite of her rage, she was starting to worry—this so-called husband stealer had yet to do anything but dodge by the barest minimum, and the _gwailo_ bitch wasn't even paying attention! Maybe, said a little voice in the back of her head, just maybe, this was a stupid thing to do. Even her _airen_ put up more resistance than this...and then she noted that the uppity outsider was letting her attention wander.

"You no ignore Shampoo!"

It was a beautiful strike, perfectly executed. Against an ordinary opponent (by Nerima Wrecking Crew standards) it would have proven quite fatal. Against this woman...

Siobhan caught the sword between her palms. Shampoo realized with horror that she had been suckered in by a basic ruse.

Siobhan looked down at the irritating little Amazon and shook her head. With a little effort, she pushed the blade back and away, following up with a swift kick to the solar plexus. The girl flew back some distance and flattened against a wall. Before she could recover enough to pick herself back up, Siobhan quietly closed the distance between them.

"You are no match for me, kitten. I say again, go home before you get hurt."

"You outsider bitch! Husband stealer!"

"You dare call me names?" Siobhan reached down, grabbed the front of Shampoo's shirt, and pulled the girl up off the ground. "Perhaps you do not understand the nature of your position. I shall demonstrate again."

With that, she flung Shampoo against the wall at the far end of the street. This time, the Amazon yelped in agony as something snapped. Again Siobhan closed the distance between them, waiting for Shampoo to regain her feet. When the Amazon did not, Siobhan reached over and picked her up again.

"You are no challenge for my skills, and I gain neither glory nor honor from this. Will you not yield?"

Shampoo spat at her. "Never!"

"Very well." The Amazon took another brief domestic flight. This time, she did not stir after her rough landing. Gently picking up the fallen form, Siobhan draped the girl across her shoulder and set out for the Cat Café.

Reaching the restaurant, she ducked her head to get in through the doorway and unceremoniously dumped Shampoo's limp body on the floor. After a moment, the Amazon Elder Urvasi had mentioned came out and the cheerful greeting for another customer died on the aged woman's lips.

"I am here to talk, old one," Siobhan growled. "Or to fight, if you wish to join your ancestors so badly."

"You would be...?"

"Siobhan Nightfang, lifemate to Lord Ranma." She gestured to the purple-haired girl on the floor. "Yours, I believe?"

Cologne gasped and rushed to Shampoo's side, her occasional hostile glare up at this outsider bitch growing more venomous as she realized the extent of Shampoo's injuries.

"She is crippled," Cologne hissed. "Did you do this?"

"She will live," Siobhan said. "A reminder of our discussion today."

"You...!" The Amazon was interrupted by Siobhan's raised hand.

"She attacked without warning, with lethal intent and force, and with no regard for the lives of any innocent bystanders. Her life is mine by forfeit. She lives only because my husband has my promise to refrain from taking what is now mine."

"And if I refuse to accept your claim?"

"My promise to him was not made blindly, mortal."

"Amazon tradition demands..."

"Your petty mortal traditions do not matter to me. Nor do your tribal laws. Here, in this land, you are the outsider."

"As are you," Cologne muttered angrily.

"Yes, as am I. The difference between us is that I am not compelled by tradition to murder and rape foreigners." The tall woman grinned unpleasantly. "These civilized types do not look kindly upon such as you...with reason."

Cologne would not have believed what happened next had she not seen it first-hand—the new obstacle had a battle aura! Midnight blue and flickering silver, it built around the irritating woman. The air grew colder and crackled with raw power as the woman's sheer strength of will spilled out into the world. In spite of herself, Cologne fell back a step as the Nightfang spoke again in a cold and terrible voice.

"Heed me, woman. I am a Child of the Burning Moon, a Silver Blade in the service of Luna Herself! No mortal law binds me, no human lore restrains me." Her mouth curled into a snarl. "By the laws of my people, you are non-persons, prey to be hunted at will and whim. Give me cause to act against you, and I will teach your people their place without mercy. That is my promise to you."

Cologne swallowed. It would never do to admit nervousness, but she could feel the sheer power coming from this woman, and it was far beyond what the elder would have expected.

"I shall consider your petition."

"You have no choice. At Phoenix Mountain, my mate was not yet Exalted. Yet he slew Saffron the demigod for a woman he did not love and would not marry. What do you think he is capable of now that he has both his full power and his mate by his side? Your people will be cast into the forgotten shadows if you anger him! Even the Maiden of Secrets will forget you when we are finished."

The swirling battle aura diminished.

"And I alone have his ear. Would you have me as a friend, Elder Cologne of the Amazons?"

"You leave me little choice. I give you what you want or see my people threatened with destruction. That is no choice, Lady."

"That small choice is still far more than you offered my husband. Will you willingly renounce the Kisses of Death and Marriage, surrendering your pursuit of my lord and husband for all time?"

Grudgingly, bitterly, Cologne nodded.

"Good. Return to your lands, if you wish, or remain here. I will not impede your coming or going. If you do return home, tell your precious council that the man your great-grand-daughter sought as husband is beyond her reach. Invoke Saffron's fate, if you must. If after all that they will not yield, send for me and I will speak on your behalf."

"You have no authority before the Council of Elders!"

"I believe they will hear me." Siobhan gave the old woman a feral grin. "If one as stubborn as you sees reason, then even a pack of hide-bound and frosty bitches like your Council will sit up and take notice at a Nightfang in her strength! Good day to you, Elder Cologne."

With that, Siobhan left the Cat Café, once again whistling her merry tune from a lost time. She made it maybe half a block before the distraught old woman came hurrying after her.

"Wait, please! There is...there is something I wish to know."

"Well?"

"Was there...ever a chance Shampoo could have succeeded?"

Siobhan turned and regarded the Elder carefully. Through her dignified front, the old woman was near the breaking point—seeing her heir apparent broken, having to surrender a heartfelt dream of gaining a worthy husband for the girl...Siobhan had seen people shatter for far less. She felt a moment of pity for the woman, or something enough like it to speak gently.

"There was, once, if he has told me truly. Had you treated him as a person rather than as a prize, you would have had him almost from the outset." Siobhan frowned in thought. "The same can be said for all of his other suitors. But none of you truly valued him, and so none of you have him at the last."

"I...see. And yet you..." Cologne remarked bitterly.

"I have had to wait for him, Amazon. I waited for him to return across five ages of this world, and for him I would have waited another five! Do not fool yourself into thinking that I have not earned my place at his side."

"So you say."

"Look to your heir. She will heal well enough, in time. Fare you well."

Again Siobhan turned on her heel and walked away.

"And what if you die, Outsider? What then?" The Elder's voice was cracking with emotion.

"If I die, I will be born again...and my new self will seek him out. Slay me, and you but delay our reunion a short time. That is the way of the Exalted, be they of Sun or Moon. But he knows whom I came here to seek. Remember Saffron, mortal. Remember that, and fear his wrath. He would avenge me."

"So you say!" There was no venom in the Elder's retort. There was barely enough life in her voice to carry the words to Siobhan's ears.

"So I know."

Siobhan left the old woman sobbing in the street, the old Amazon's curses drifting after her on the air. After a time she whistled again, but out of respect for the fallen she chose a funerary hymn. Suddenly she wanted the school day to end so that she could hold her husband again, to take him to her bed for comfort if not pleasure. With an unhappy sigh, the Lunar turned for their new home.

End of Diplomacy.

Author's Notes:

This was tough to write! The first draft was just too brutal and didn't turn out right no matter how I monkey-wrenched matters. This time, Shampoo and Cologne both manage to live through matters, but I kind of had to make Cologne a lot more willing to cut her losses to get there without a body count of Shakespearean proportions. Amazon pride and Lunar power don't mix very well! Unfortunately, the only way to end the Amazon Standoff is for someone to get seriously hurt...or for the Amazon to get killed by an 'act of the _kami_'.

Oh, the title? Of the many definitions of diplomacy, the one I like best is this: diplomacy is the fine art of saying 'nice doggy! Good doggy!' while reaching for a sufficiently large rock. Seems as good a description of haggling with Cologne as any other one I've found. This time, the Elder is on the 'losing' side of the argument.

Yes, technically, Shampoo could now give the Kiss of Death to Siobhan. Not a very wise move, under the circumstances.


End file.
